top of page

"Boys will be boys"....But why?

I've never had a boyfriend. I know, it's hard to believe, but I really have never had a boyfriend. Though what I've gathered from observing, the idea of a "boyfriend" seems to be centered on one certain thing: Finding a guys guy. It's as if in order to be relevant, you need a man.

This seems to be a bit counter intuitive.

It's like the term “boyfriend” has been stereotyped by society and changed, to seem as if a boyfriend has to be a big, strong, manly man; someone who can take care of a woman. Which, don't get me wrong, I'm all for it. But as a proud lady, I'd like to say that I much rather take care of myself. But this fact isn’t always acceptable in society; men are the providers are they not? To that, I say; Have you met my mother?

I think it's quite sad that boys have to grow up faster so they can measure up to the expectations of being the clichéd “man”. In my opinion, I think boys have many more insecurities than girls. Why, because for them they must act a certain way; ever since the beginning of time. Boys/men must be portrayed a certain way to always remain on top. If not, then they are considered “gay”. Showing your feelings or being compassionate is seen as a negative in the “man’s” world. And forget about having any sort of vulnerability.

Unfortunately, we live in an extremely labeled society. Everything we are must be labeled - race, age, sexuality. It's very hard to accept who you are when you're forced into categories that don’t explain who you're trying to be, only what the world wants you to be. When you think of a boyfriend you automatically think of a male. Not just any male, but a devastatingly handsome, tall, well spoken, wealthy male. It’s unfortunate for those who choose a certain path - in the sexuality category - that they now have to be this perfect person, in order to be accepted just a bit!

The worst part for me is when I see guys trying to praise each other for hooking up with girls or being the toughest. They can't even tell another guy that they look happy or nice without saying “no homo”. It is because of the image we've created for who boys and boyfriends are supposed to be. Why does complimenting another male automatically make you gay? I think guys should feel free to complement one another; because it’s just a compliment; it’s not going to change who you are. Of course, everyone doesn’t feel the same way.

It’s frustrating the way boys fall into these stereotypes. Typecast as the buff, hot, suave male. It is exhausting sifting through all of the same, to find something different. I, myself, have a long way until I feel comfortable about getting a boyfriend. So, I will take my sweet time and continue to be standoffish to any boy that approaches me, with a proposition along the lines of "will you go on a date with me?". I will also say no mainly because my mother will surely find out. (Which is a whole other topic of discussion.)

bottom of page